


Soldiers

by BlossomsintheMist



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Brainwashing, Depersonalization, F/M, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-03-16 04:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3473663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlossomsintheMist/pseuds/BlossomsintheMist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Winter Soldier asks Natasha Romanova a question.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soldiers

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt meme on tumblr, the prompt was: "things you said through your teeth."

"Do you know who you are, Natalia?"

The question surprised her.  It came out of nowhere, low-voiced and quiet, and the Soldier was sitting up in bed, looking out the window.  He should probably be moving to get dressed, but she was in no hurry to see him go.

"Yes," she said, after a moment.  She knew who she wanted to be, at least.  And she knew what this was, and her place in it, even if she didn’t know anything else.  She didn’t know exactly who Natalia Romanova was, yet, but she knew … she knew she was herself.  It was impossible to explain.

"How do you know?" he asked, hoarsely.  The hint of a broad, twangy accent was in his voice again, she noticed.  He never noticed it, it was like he couldn’t, and his Russian was good, almost perfect.  Except for that.

"I’m not sure that’s a question you can answer," she said, finally, and he gave a hoarse little laugh.

"Yeah, probably not," he agreed.

"What about you?" she asked, even though she already knew the answer, but he still surprised her.  He lifted his head and smiled back at her.

"I feel like I do, sometimes," he said, and leaned in, kissed her on the cheek, a quick teasing brush of his lips, shaped by his grin, "when I’m with you."

She thought about that when they took him, when he lay there, twitching in agony and unconscious and she tried to get to him, and they held her back.  ”No, leave him alone, leave him alone, it’s not his fault,” she had bit out.  She thought she’d broken one of their noses.  It was only later that she realized how lucky she was that they hadn’t punished her more harshly, how far her status as a favored student had gotten her, and bitterly resented the relief she felt.

They’d dragged him up, limp like a sack of meat, limbs flopping uncoordinated at his sides, head lolling helplessly, and all she could think about was his smile.  She thought about it again when she saw him in stasis again, his face cold, expressionless.  The way he’d smiled at her.  The cocky little grin, the playful smirk, the sweeter, more boyish smile, the warm touch of his lips.   _Do you know who you are, Natalia?_

 _Let me worry about my soldiers, little Natalia_.

"I do now," she gritted out between her teeth, to herself, and clenched her fists.  "I am a fool."


End file.
